Sunday, 11 November 2012

Thinking Block

Frozen in fear of GETTING IT WRONG, I've found myself delaying this first blog post. I've tried, believe me I've tried, but I've written, critiqued, erased and then delayed some more. Waiting for the time when the perfect words will come to me, and I'll be happy with whatever I've put together. The attempts have just not been good enough, so surely it's better not to post them at all?

I have to write my own opinion about an essay concerning mathematics, then discuss it in a group later this week. As a card-carrying sufferer of maths phobia, I've found this task impossible. So I've also delayed, procrastinated, read round and then given up on that as well. The fear of writing about it and getting it horribly wrong and looking like a fool have made me freeze and stop thinking.

I've finally found the block and I'm pushing at it, clambering over it and giving it the finger.
I'm so consumed with fear of getting it wrong and negative thoughts about myself and my abilities or lack thereof that I can hardly think about the problem at hand, let alone process the information. Not doing it at all isn't an option, and this brain freeze is only making the process harder. So what if I get it wrong? I'm trying, and anything I try and get wrong is better than avoiding it altogether. I won't learn a thing that way.

The same goes for this blog, except that here there is no right or wrong, only expression. I'm going to take Sark's advice and practice the art of being splendidly imperfect.


  1. A friend said "I wanted to be a jazz musician so bad, but I really couldn't. There was no way I could figure out how to play it.
    I replied, "Ha! Then you met Barry and Clarry and realized you don't have to know how to play it, you just play it!"
    : )

  2. You sound just like my daughter used to, so here is the advice I gave her:

    Focus and carry things through, you CAN do whatever you set your mind to.

    Your life is all about you, so don't obsess over what others think.

    The world won't end if you don't know something.

    If you make a mistake, learn from it and move on.

    If you're acknowledged for doing something right, accept compliments gracefully.

    Hold your head up, look people in the eye. It's easier than you think and shows confidence, even when you're not so confident.

    Dream; reach for the stars. You may not get exactly where you want to go, but it will never be said you didn't try.

    Mainly--stop worrying and be happy. Things come so much easier when you're relaxed.

    You are your own worst critic--stop it and believe in yourself!

    FDR said: "The only thing you have to fear is fear itself." He was sooo right.

    I don't know you, but I do know you can do it! Have faith in yourself. You've already taken the first step by beginning this blog.

  3. Thank you both for the kind comments! I'll be adding more and fleshing out this blog over the coming days, deadlines allowing of course. I was encouraged to set up a blog by a good friend of mine a couple of weeks ago, and after worrying over the first post, I finally decided that starting was the important thing, hopefully the rest will come later!

    Thank you for taking the time to read and to comment, while you may not know me now, if you continue to come back (and I hope you do!) you'll soon get to know a lot about me (possibly more than you'd ever wish to know!). It's the only way I know how to write. :-)

  4. Release early and release often, is a software development mantra that has served me well as a non-developer.

    Get something, anything, down on paper and then seek the view of someone whose opinion you value. It works in so many ways: course correction, confidence boost, productivity multiplier.

  5. Welcome to the blogsphere. You come with some pretty awesome recommendations so we expect the "early and often." No matter what, we'll read it. Even if its about ghoulish Bobbies!

  6. If you think you can, then you can;
    if you think you cn't, then you can't! :-)

  7. Wow. Honestly, I wouldn't be too worried about your abilities to write. You write very well. I loved the line:

    "I've finally found the block and I'm pushing at it, clambering over it and giving it the finger"

    One sentence, and you have eloquently summed up your entire position. Not many people can do that... even given a paragraph.

    There was a prolific fantasy writer by the name of Piers Anthony. The guy put out, like, a novel a month it seemed. When asked about writer's block (which is kind of what you are talking about) his suggestion was similar to Matthew's above. Just write. Anything. Write off the top of your head. Just write. It's like a muscle. The more you excercise it, the better it gets.

    You're off to an awesome start!

  8. Thank you all for the warm welcome!

    I have no idea what Felix The Mysterious (Reynolds, 2012)has said about me, but take everything with a large fistful of salt!

    [Dammit Felix! If you talk me up then send everyone over here, they're going to have very high expectations... much better to set the bar low then work my way up! Or around. Something like that].

    I'd never even considered writing a blog until Felix suggested it, I imagine since I send him long rambling emails he thought "this woman NEEDS a blog", and here we are. I haven't even read that many blogs, so this is all new to me, bear with me while I find my way around!